Who I am

So, what came next?  I mean giving up alcohol is friggin fantastic for your body, but there was more.  First, let me tell you about my husband who knows me so well.  His theory on me is that I "come out of the gate strong."  For example, I decide to lose weight so I decide what all the choices need to be and I do them religiously for a little bit.... a week, two weeks, even three weeks, and then I am so sick of doing them and maybe I have lost a little weight so I feel proud of that and I go right back to where I was and what I was doing.   It is very similar to the graphs my dad used to put on his refrigerator to chart his weight loss.  The dip in the beginning was always huge and then he stopped charting after a few ups.  Or when he would go on a diet so he wouldn't eat anything all day and then he would take me out for ice-cream and he would dig in with gusto, of course, because the dude had not eaten anything all day!
I did not really want to mess with food at this point.  Food can become a great obsession with me and I didn't want to be obsessed, I wanted to be healthy.  So, as I was training (I use that word lightly here) for our annual 5k for the Autism Resource Center, I also thought about joining a gym.  Luckily my husband was on board because we had been walking together at night and running next to each other on the treadmills at our apartment complex.  We realized this was something we could do together.  I figured if we paid for a gym I would have to use the gym especially with a husband who was motivated.  I cannot even explain what happened to me when I turned that final corner in the 5k and saw 38 minutes on the digital clock.  I started screaming like a fool and jumping up and down.  I daresay it might have felt better than any weight I have ever lost!   Strangers were congratulating me knowing nothing of my goal but by my maniacal finish knowing I had done something amazing for myself.  Possibly it is that runners recognize finishing as an amazing accomplishment in itself.
From there I bought a four pack of sessions with a trainer at the gym.  She asked my next goal and before I knew what the hell was coming out of my mouth I said, "running  a 10k."  I did my four sessions with her, started spinning classes, and found a training schedule online for a half marathon that I am using to prepare me for a 10k.  (At this point it would be realistic for you to make some inferences regarding why I chose a half marathon training schedule, but I will not say it out loud yet.  It is not time.  10k first.)
At this point, we can say I have come out of the gate strong, but let me tell you why I think this time it will last.  I have done a lot of reading recently about people trying to lose weight by bringing exercise into their lives.  There is so much talk about motivation.  I am reminded of something I read from Bob Harper in a magazine.  You cannot and will not be motivated everyday.  That just can't happen.  Some days you just have to get up and do it anyway. 
As I write this I have a 4 mile run schedule for today.  Our air conditioner seems to broken.  I am hot and possibly cranky.  My daughter is away until Saturday and I have the day to myself albeit with a ton to do around this place.  The very last thing I feel like doing is getting my stuff on and going for a run.  I am not motivated.  So what is getting me out the door in the next hour?  Well, its not motivation and it is definitely not the idea of losing any weight from this run. That would not be enough to get me out there.  I would just put it off until tomorrow.  So here is what it is.  1.  I am following a training schedule and this run is on the schedule. It is just like the days we go to work that we don't feel like it.  It is my responsibility if I am training.  2.  You may not always be motivated but you can turn something into a habit.  I run three days a week (sometimes more if I decide not to cross train that day).  It's that simple.  It is what I do. I have been doing it for just over three months.  It has become a habit now.  I don't have any motivation to run 4 miles today.  But I will do it.  It's who I am now.