Friday, July 6, 2012

You can't do this

It is time to get right to the running and with the running comes the voice in our heads.  You know the voice.  I have always had a really strong one...my best friend I often say.  I believe in that shit about what you tell yourself you are you are.  I am the kid who listened to the 45 of a song called, "I love life" over and over again and it is surprising nobody in my family shot me quite honestly.  I would sing with it too...like crazy!!!  Our mom always had some kind of deep magnet on our fridge and I would read them all the time.  My favorite was "A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."  Now if it had read, "Be nice to people shithead."  I am not sure I would have loved it, but that simple saying about the candle had me buying into how great the world has the possibility to be.
I bring up the voice because that is who joins you on every run you start.  Your voice.  When I tell people how far I have run on a certain day they tell me how great it is and that they wished they could do that but they never could.  You know what?  They are absolutely friggin right.  Just look...their voice has already defeated them and they are not even trying to run.
My voice has defeated me before.  That is why I am 40 and just starting out as a runner.  And after three months it doesn't feel like running is an issue. No the issue is my voice.  First, I cannot run with other people.  The voice takes on a mind of its own.  Telling me that I will never be as fast and I can't do it and so on and so on.  The goal on any run of mine is to get the voice to shut the hell up.  Three months ago I was starting each run by counting in my head.  Just try to count and have your voice give you negative messages. It can't.  You just keep counting to drown it out.  Then I got an ipod.  Music is great because it drowns out the voice.  However, the other day in Maine my ipod froze and I needed to do a 4 mile run.  All I could think was I was going to have to listen to that stupid, annoying voice for 4 miles.  But, something amazing happened.  My voice did not once pipe up that I couldn't do this.  In fact in the first mile, he (oh yes, my voice appears to be male) told me to remember how good I start feeling in the second mile.  I had an absolutely enjoyable run with just the sound of nature and my footfalls.  So, enjoyable in fact, that I ran 4.5 yesterday and CHOSE not to use an ipod.  It was AWESOME!!!! 
What kinds of things does your voice tell you you can't do?  Is it right? 

No comments:

Post a Comment