Just read that last post. What a joke. I didn't recommit. I thought about recommitting. I blogged about it because maybe that would help me recommit. I am currently (as of this morning) 232. 6 pounds away from where I started in March. Those six pounds mean everything to me right now. They mean I did NOT gain it all back.
I went out for my first run of the New Year about an hour ago. The sun was shining and my sister was running right next to me the whole time. Don't worry, I am not crazy. I know she is not living the same way anymore, but I do believe her spirit is with me, or at the very least, that I have an idea of what she would talk to me about if she were on that run with me.
I did a lot of thinking about my dad who went up and down with his weight (mostly up). How he would make graphs and then give up on the graph and start a new graph and give up on the graph. I remember him waking up and committing to not eating and then having a large ice cream cone at 4 o'clock because he was starving. I remember knowing then that wasn't the right way to lose weight. So, on today's run I had to wonder why when I had found what works between March 11th and Thanksgiving, I couldn't just get back on it.
This is what I came up with. I ran the half marathon in October. And then there was nothing..nothing to train for. I ran that half marathon at 219. I didn't care what I weighed. It was the best run of my life. It was incredible. I miss it. I want to relive it!!! I want to be less heavy for multiple reasons, but none of them are motivating enough to get me there. The only motivation I have is pushing myself mentally and physically. So, I am currently training for a 10k on March 24th. Let's see where this takes me between now and then.
Remember at this start of a new year to be kind and gentle with yourself. You are strong enough. You truly are.
Be Strong.
No comments:
Post a Comment